


exposure

by questionably_fortunate_bamboo



Series: jonsa countdown 2017 [4]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: F/M, Jonsa Countdown, Texting, honestly i don't know what this is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-04
Updated: 2017-07-04
Packaged: 2018-11-23 04:45:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11395611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/questionably_fortunate_bamboo/pseuds/questionably_fortunate_bamboo
Summary: Arya has a funny feeling that things just aren't adding up about Sansa and Jon.[ featuring: rick 'n roll (rickon), aunt marge (margaery), rocky mountain oyster (gendry), raisin bran (bran), samwise gamgee (sam), and comic sansa (sansa) ](written for day four of the jonsa countdown - modern universe)





	exposure

**Author's Note:**

> godddd I don't know guys. please enjoy whatever this is!

**arya:** hey, rickon, i need you to do me a favor.

**rick ‘n roll:** Okay!

**arya:** can you tell sansa to please water my cactus? i totally forgot about it and i don’t want you to go in my room. also, tell sansa to start answering my texts.

**rick ‘n roll:** Sansa went out. Do you want me to water your cactus?

**arya:** went out with who?

**arya:** and don’t go in my room!

**rick ‘n roll:** I don’t know. Someone came to pick her up and she’s not back yet.

**arya:** thank you for the info. do not go in my room.

 

“You’re gonna get caught,” says Lommy as he sees her flicking through her messages. She waves him away. Mrs. Tarth is too busy grading papers to notice them while they’re supposed to be working on a group assignment.

“I don’t care, Lom. There’s something weird going on. I feel it in my bones,” she says. 

 

**arya:** hey margaery, are you with my sister right now?

**aunt marge:** No, why?

**arya:** she’s not replying to my texts and rickon said she went out with someone, i thought you’d be with her.

**aunt marge:** Rickon’s home alone? He’s nine!

**arya:** he’ll be fine, trust me. the flu never killed anyone.

**aunt marge:** Yes, it has.

**arya:** whatever. are you sure you don’t know where sansa is?

**aunt marge:** I’m sure.

**arya:** ugh fine.

 

Arya pulls up another thread and asks Jon where Sansa might be. Even though he’s a master of quick replies, there’s no response. She frowns and tries someone else.

 

**arya:** are you on break? i need you.

**rocky mountain oyster:** hey, love. i thought you were at school?

**arya:** i am. we have another group project that’s due tomorrow. this is bullshit. i’m graduating in two weeks, why do i need to know all these stupid words?

**rocky mountain oyster:** because you’re going to college to be a translator?

**arya:** you’re supposed to be on my side, gendry!

**rocky mountain oyster:** sorry babe. 

**arya:** anyway, i have a question. is jon at work with you? he’s not replying to my texts.

**rocky mountain oyster:** no, he left half an hour ago and took the afternoon off. said he was going to go pick someone up.

**arya:** OHOHOHO SHIT

**rocky mountain oyster:** what is it?

**arya:** i’ll get back to you. thanks, babe ❤

 

“What’re you smiling at?” asks Hot Pie.

“You look like you’re disgusted and delighted at the same time,” says Lommy.

“Shut up, I’m Sherlock fucking Holmes right now.”

 

**arya:** hiiii

**samwise gamgee:** Hello! How can I help?

**arya:** are you at work with jon?

**samwise gamgee:** No, the electrician was coming to fix our lights so I stayed home.

**arya:** gotcha. sounds boring.

**samwise gamgee:** It’s quite embarrassing. I think the neighbors are having sex. 

**arya:** which neighbors?

**samwise gamgee:** I can’t tell. Gilly put on music to cover it up. They’re getting quite loud.

**arya:** one more question. is there any chance jon is home?

**samwise gamgee:** Yes, I can see his car in the parking lot. 

**arya:** thank you, sam. you’re an angel.

 

“Tout va bien?”

Arya quickly hides her phone under her papers. “Oui, madame, excellent.” Mrs. Tarth nods and moves on to the next group. Arya whips out her phone again.

**arya:** bran bran the miracle man. what’s up, little brother?

**raisin bran:** Fuck you.

**arya:** i think i’ve discovered an amazing secret.

**raisin bran:** Go away, I’m in history.

**arya:** trust me, you’re gonna want to hear what i have to say.

**raisin bran:** Leave me alone.

**arya:** I THINK THAT JON AND SANSA ARE FUCKING.

_ raisin bran is typing… _

**raisin bran:** Interesting thesis. Do explain, sister dear.

**arya:** rickon said someone came to pick up sansa. i asked margaery and she’s not with her. then i asked jon, but he didn’t reply. and then gendry said that jon left work to pick someone up. and THEN, sam said that jon’s car is in the apartment parking lot and that his neighbors are having crazy sex! and jon’s apartment is right across from sam’s!

**raisin bran:** Well, shit.

**arya:** i know! i’m going to call robb!!!

**raisin bran:** Whoa, whoa, whoa. He’s going to flip shit.

**arya:** it’s gonna be funny as hell.

 

She raises her hand and asks to use the restroom. Mrs. Tarth excuses her with a look of suspicion in her eyes. Arya hurries out of the classroom and sprints down the hall while dialing her older brother’s number.

_ “Arya, what’s wrong? Are you hurt?”  _

“I’m okay! Don’t hang up!” 

She hears panting in the background and scrunches up her nose. “Eww, were you and Talisa fucking?”

_ “You better have a good reason for this, Arya.” _

“Trust me, I do. Get dressed as fast as you can. It’s an emergency.” She goes into a stairwell and waits.

_ “Okay, I’ve got clothes on. What now?” _

“Go up to Jon’s apartment. Just go right in. Don’t even knock. It’s really important that you do this for me,” she says, covering her mouth to hide a giggle.

_ “Are you serious?” _

“Just go to the elevator! He lives two floors above you, Jesus Christ, it’s not like you’re taking the One Ring to fucking Mordor!”

She hears him walking down the hall and getting in the elevator. There’s silence for a minute, and then there’s the  _ ding  _ of a door opening.

_ “Ew, I can hear someone having sex,”  _ says Robb. Arya has to bite on her lip to prevent an outburst of laughter.

“Just go right in, trust me. Jon never remembers to lock his door.”

She hears a sigh and the rattle of a doorknob. 

There’s a stunned gasp. And then, clear as day and loud as hell-

_ “HOLY FUCKING SHIT!” _

 

_ bonus  _

 

**comic sansa:** ARYA I FUCKING HATE YOU DO YOU HEAR ME? I AM GOING TO SHOVE MY FOOT SO FAR UP YOUR ASS YOU’LL BE ABLE TO TASTE MY FUCKING PEDICURE I SWEAR TO GOD HOLY FUCKING JESUS CHRIST

**arya:** i love you! sorry for exposing your ~intimate~ relations with jon!

**comic sansa:** I DON’T CARE ABOUT ‘EXPOSING MY RELATIONS’

**comic sansa:** YOU KNOW WHAT WERE EXPOSED?

**comic sansa:** MY TITS

**comic sansa:** LITERALLY, MY OWN BROTHER JUST SAW MY TITS AND JON’S DICK

**comic sansa:** arya, i’m crying so hard right now

**arya:** okay, you’re not using all caps anymore, good. i’m really sorry, sans!

**comic sansa:** oh god, i’m a mess

**comic sansa:** i’m naked and in tears and my brother just saw my boyfriend going down on me

**arya:** i feel even worse now. i’ve heard jon is great at oral.

**arya:** sans?

**arya:** please don’t be mad at me!

**arya:** i love and support you both!

**comic sansa:** ARYA YOU’RE DEAD TO ME

**comic sansa:** SAM JUST WALKED IN

 

_ bonus bonus _

**rocky mountain oyster:** so, what was going on?

**arya:** pack your bags, we’re leaving the country


End file.
